Love is such a strange thing. It’s easy and complex at the same time.
When I was younger love was simple. I loved those who were nice to me. Those who wanted to play with me. I didn’t care whether they lived in a hut or a mansion, I just cared how they were like and if they were nice, I loved them and if they weren’t; well, I wouldn’t love them. It was easy.
Love at home was a little strange for me but I learned to associate love with being disciplined. Whenever I was scolded, I’d tell myself it was because they love me. Whenever I got caned, it was love too I told myself. It was love I didn’t understand but it’s still love all the same because adults are always right and I often heard that “young people don’t know what love is”.
Then I became a teenager and I thought love was the feeling of butterflies in my stomach when the boy I liked looked at me. Love was my friends getting into relationships with the flimsy promise of forever. Looking back, I didn’t know what love was but in that moment, I was convinced that I knew.
Then I transitioned into that strange 18-20 years old part of my life which was altogether enchanting and confusing because I was no longer a teenager nor felt like an adult and I was convinced that the only love I knew was the one I could not explain. The one that found me being defensive and protective over my family. The one that found me jealously guarding my friendships. I knew that kind of love but romantic love was strange to me. Maybe it was because I had been promised this sort of love just to watch it being poured out on someone else. Whatever the reason, I didn’t know that love nor was I eager to.
Now I’m a little older. I’ve had enough birthdays celebrated to know that love is not found in the exaggerated promise of forever but love is a quiet force that grips the entirety of my being. Love is not necessarily said in words or spelled out with alphabets; but said through the quiet thoughtful actions that go unseen and spelled out throughout my life in many different forms and interactions. So though I might not ever really know what love is in all its complex, enchanting and mysterious ways, I know that love is limitless and that there will always be a place for me and everyone else.