I tried to cook eggs in a microwave

and I failed. Not terribly though. But it wasn’t a success either.

I know, I know, which 20 something doesn’t know how to use a microwave? Shame on me. But I hold on to the belief that microwaves are simultaneously a blessing and a gift from the devil himself.

Well the story goes like this:

I brought eggs to work with the intention of cooking them as I have before. However today, the induction stove rebelled against me and I had no choice but to cook my eggs in the only other kitchen appliance that well….cooks things. The (dreaded) microwave.

After Googling out “how to cook eggs in the microwave” (Google had to audacity to suggest “How to cook eggs in the microwave without exploding”; as if my paranoia wasn’t already at an all time high) and reading several (anxiety inducing) articles, I decided to just wing it. So I confidently cracked my eggs into a bowl and place them in the microwave, said a prayer and turned it on. After about 20 seconds, I checked on my eggs and I saw the outer parts (those in contact with the bowl) have turned an opaque white and in my dismay I exclaimed “Oh no! I’m making a giant hard boiled egg bowl thing!” (you can see how my vocabulary shrinks and also my ability to form coherent intellectual sentences has been drastically lowered). Nevertheless, egg is egg and so I continued the cooking.

10 seconds later, where was this sort of POP sound and I thought “oh no. my eggs have exploded“. I prepared for the worst (i.e. no more eggs for me to eat and also me having to clean the microwave and everybody in the office finding out about this embarrassing part of my life). Thankfully, only one part seemed to have “popped” – the egg white seemed completely devoid of water or something. I’m not an egg expert. I don’t know. But it was still edible and there was no mess to clean.

But you know, being an engineer-in-training, I was very ready to take this “problem-solving” onto the next level. So I thought “okay, I’m just going to mix the eggs all together. Both the cooked bits and uncooked bits.”

This already fairly lengthy account short, I managed to cook the eggs. It turned out a(n unpleasant) mixture of half boiled eggs and overcooked egg whites and it tasted horrible. I ate them anyway because I can’t waste eggs. While eating them, I scrolled through that Buzzfeed article that spoke of many wonderful different types of eggs that one can cook in the microwave while simultaneously also feeling upset and angry at the microwave for being so difficult and at the induction stove for dying on me.

I then got a stomachache and had to use the toilet.

The end.

*S I G H

[u p d a t e]

The induction stove didn’t die on me. I just didn’t turn on the main switch. This is embarrassing on all levels. I didn’t realise that there was another switch and the plug was actually an extension disguised as a wall socket. *another bigger sigh.

My colleagues also found out about this fiasco. The story is currently spreading and I don’t think they will stop laughing anytime soon.

Ah well. *shrugs

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